the last few weeks, especially, have been rather tumultuous. i get to the end of the day, no longer knowing which way is up or even how i feel. take the much feared and anticipated ‘date’ and tromping through old stomping grounds, throw in Easter, a few day trips, and many long, intense conversations, and top it all off with redesigning my life from the ground up, and you end up with a very tired and confused me.
a quick peek at a few of the titles on my reading list, and you’ll get a idea. no, not yet. but soonish, and the changes are coming with increasing rapidity. there is a lot on my plate right now, nearly all of it good, some of it food for thought. and i’m trying my hardest not to lose sight of being myself as all of this happens.
as i said, there is a lot of goodness in my life right now. there are so many things i want and need to do this summer. there’s The Dane, work, and concerts, and sailing, and i want to spend time with my family, and my best friend, and friends in general. trying to balance all of that is going to be quite the hat trick. because it’s all good, so i should be able to fit it all in, right? eh. there’s still only one of me. and i have to remember to make time for me. see, this is the thing i’ve been giving so much thought to lately. these things have all come about by choice (and, you might say, one huge stroke of blind luck). i want to make changes. i want all these new and exciting things. i also want to keep sight of the fact that things will give, and it’s okay to be sad to lose some things in return for other goodness.
[ed. note: i actually had all of that written out much more nicely, but a single keystroke 86ed all that. grrr.]
anyway, all of this will bring about a different version of me. it’s been a long time since i’ve had major changes in my life. i’m both trepidatious and curious to see how it will all come about, and who i’ll be on the other side of all this.
oh, i suppose i really should say: the ‘date’ went swimmingly. i laughed, i cried, he brought me to my knees… actually, the last is quite literally true. you try talking eye to eye with someone who comes up to your kneecaps. 😉