so much has happened in the last few months, and i’ve barely had time to write any of it down. i want to write it down, for you (hopefully entertaining) and for me (for the days where i only have one brain cell – no friction, no memory). i need to carve out time to do that.
and hopefully, that will be easier after July 1. that’s Moving Day. it’s rushing in, which both delights and terrifies me. not nearly enough time to pack, but that much closer to being moved, and finding out what the next phase of family life looks like.
i’ve had my first Mother’s Day, my first parent-teacher conference, chaperoned a field trip for Little Small, gone to his graduation, dealt with the ex as part of Little Small’s ‘all together family’ (his term) and not lost my mind, and gotten a compliment from another mother about how amazingly sweet i am with kids.
(i know. who knew? me, sweet? 😉 )
i’ve been struggling with panic, and fear, and anger, and frustration – all bottled up in the warm, dark corners of the brain, where they can fester and multiply. i want to yank all that out, write out where it’s coming from, face down a few issues, and quiet down the internal chatter.
and it’s not just ‘inward’ writing. my friends have been thru pretty much everything (birth, death, wedding, exams, graduations, landmark birthdays, anniversaries, losing jobs, finding jobs, losing relationships, looking for new ones…). there’s no good way to say how frustrating it is to only be able to give each of them the most glancing of acknowledgements. cleaning out boxes this week, i found stashes of letters from *cough*20*cough* years ago, and it was so calming to see them. we all need more letters. after the move, i’m going to start writing letters again.
this feels like just another ‘oh, woe is me, so uninspired…’, and i don’t mean it to be. more like ‘woo! i strung together sentences! and spelled words! and didn’t take off my socks to count! go me!’ and more like – i’m stuffing my life into moving boxes for the next week and a half, will gladly provide you with the beer/meal of choice should you want to help out schlepping boxes from point A to point B, and can’t wait until it’s July 2nd. posting may be sparse or incoherent until then. 🙂
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